Haikus!

[bloodcount]

I got into a filthy LOTR themed haiku war once upon a time. Enjoy!



Fangirls blaspheme hard.
In the afterlife Tolkien
waits with nine iron.



Frodo takes Rosie,
so fast and hard. What Sam don't
know, will not hurt him.



Gollum and Frodo
dance on the edge. Sharp teeth snap.
Finger 'lickin' good!



Long, cold lonely nights.
Sam finds heat and ecstasy.
Good thing Bill can't talk.



Eowyn stinks of
stable. But if she's willing,
Merry is able.



Saruman peers deep
and mutters curses. Scrambled porn
is so frustrating.



Frodo twists, in bliss,
and gives all. In the morning,
come ibuprofen!



Radagast so loves
the critters! Someone call the
ASPCA!



Saruman alone
at home with Lobelia.
Hot wrinkly action!



Bilbo writhes in joy.
Flames of Smaug's desire lick
him with a forked tongue!



Treebeard and Pippin
in forest bower of thrills.
Took seed so sticky!



INSIDE Moria
Gimli 'mourns' Balin all night.
Dead dwarves tell no tales.



Bilbo remembers
all that he taught hot Arwen.
The King should thank him!



Bilbo, unseen, goes
plundering in the Elf King's
tight, hot, dark cavern!



Fredegar Bolger,
broad as a barn and lusty.
Poor Rosie squashed flat.





The Last Ship sails West,
and promises something for
everyone! Love Boat!



Galadriel dumps
the seer water on the ground.
Yuck, why did she look?



A poor, tired Frodo
searches for soothing ointment.
The chafing is hell!



The undertaker
tries hard but he can't wipe that
smile off Frodo's face.



Four hobbits and Tom
pile on the River's Daughter.
Goldberry's heaven!



Speaking for herself,
Singe lives vicariously.
Kinda sad, really.