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Fandom: Real Ghostbusters
Rating: All Audiences
Genre: Character One-Shots
Note: These are where it all began, my first fanfics posted to what was then EGroup's RGB mailing list. I kept the dates and subjects out of sentimentality.
From: Singe
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 3:20pm
Subject: My answer to Sheila's challenge
They're all staring at me. Wanting an answer as to why a Class 7 entity would claim to 'remember' me.
I can't believe I'm going to say this. I can't believe I'm going to ADMIT to this. I may as well claim I believe in the Easter Bunny or declare myself the reincarnation of Ramses the Great.
Ludicrous. Undignified.
Vindicated. I know my friends will believe me. Finally, finally someone would believe me. They will know that my life's work, my knowledge and all my ambition has led to this moment, this being's destruction. Ironic, if it weren't for him there may never have been the Ghostbusters and the world would have died in a myriad of painful ways. Excuse me as I contain my gratitude.
He has served Fate's purpose and now we will stop him. Never again would that evil monster break a child. Time for True Confessions as Peter might say.
"When I was a child...the Bogeyman came out of my closet."
Date: Wed Nov 8, 2000 4:37pm
Subject: Another Answer
Title.....Inner Workings
GEEZ! I've been running this maze forever! Did the Sandman invent this place or am I dreaming it all up on my own? That jerk is making dreams a reality, PLEASE don't let the guys be lost in my maze, too.
The guys. I'm here for a reason. I have to save the guys. Where are they? EGON! PETER! WINSTON! RAYYYYY!! Where are they? What was I supposed to DO?! EGON!! EEEEGOOOONNNNN!!!
They're not here. I was...supposed to be something...someone... I'm a...I'm a...
Secretary. Just a secretary. I type, I file, I can just hear my dad saying what were those bozos THINKING when they sent a secretary, a WOMAN, out to do something important?
Like I ever listened to my Dad. I just wish I could remember what I was supposed to BE. I'm so tired, all these twists and turns are killing my head. I'm a...I'm a...uh, oh...now I can hear my Mom. She's telling me to ignore Dad, all I need is a good house, a good
husband with a good job and three or four good kids and I'll be happy. Like she was ever happy. Like I ever listened to her either.
I'm a...oh, geez, what am I? I always had the answers before, what's gonna happen to Egon and Peter and Ray...and...Winston...and...that's it.
That's IT!
The guys. MY guys! My guys are my answer! They sent me out here because I'm part of the TEAM! They're what I need. It's time to leave these tunnels and kick some gritty, sandy ass. Hey, Sandman, here's a hot little dream made real for ya! Where's the 'ON' switch on this proton pack? Here it is. Wow, listen to it hum. Powerrrr! This is going to be good...look at me, Egon, I look GREAT. Hey, Mr. Sandmannnn.....? Guess what?
"I'M A GHOSTBUSTAH!!!!"
Title: These Boots Are Made For Walkin'
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes, please!
Warning: This one is rated PG13 for language and Peter's unfortunate choice in song lyrics. Also, I've never seen this episode so I'm taking all sorts of liberties with the action.
"I saw a young cowboy, all dressed in white linen..." Doc Spengs is glaring at me again. I don't care. Nothing fazes Cactus Pete and his wild, neurotic band of Western Outlaws. Doc Spengs, Snake-Eyes Stantz and Wild Winnie - damned to hell desperadoes, every last one of us. They got ten thousand dollars in silver on my head alone.
"Ghost-riders innnnn the skyyyyy..." This sun is hot. It's melting the pine tar out of the new false fronts of the buildings. I can smell it, a clean green aroma overlaying the dust of the street and the scent of leather and horse shit. High Noon, baby. All the Dewey LaMorte Wild West potboilers in the world can't come close to this, the real thing. A real showdown. A real chance to get gunned down in the middle of the street. "Do not forsake me, oh, my darlinnnnn....."
It won't happen. The four of us together are too strong. Walking in unison down the middle of main street I'm surprised the ground doesn't tremble. We don' need no stinkin' badges.
Yeah, none of the lawmen, bounty hunters, Frito Banditos and Pinkerton Detectives in the world can touch us, neither can this new guy...this sheriff...
...Wyatt Earp.
"Comma Tai Ai Yippee Yippee Yay! Yippee Yay! Comma Tai Ai Yippee
Yippee Yay!!"
Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday are gunning for me. For ME! If I die today it'll be out of joy. Doc Spengs is hissing at me. Something about showing a little more decorum in the face of death. He's just not getting it. What tune would really tick my pardner off and leech some of the dread out of Snake-Eyes and Wild Winnie? Oh, I know...
"Gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg! Gonna tie my pecker to my
leg!!"
From: Singe
Date: Fri Nov 17, 2000 3:23pm
Subject: Yet Another Answer (POV)
Title: I Feel a Draft
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes
POV: Winston's
Note: I've never seen 'Moaning Stones' so I'm taking liberties again.
(I've only got Ray's POV left and then I'll be done!)
An animal skin loincloth. Feathers. A spear. God, please, give me strength. I looked like one of Edgar Rice Burrough's 'savages' that used to chase Tarzan around the jungle. I hated those movies. I still hate Tarzan. Great White God my Big Black Ass.
I can still sense Shima Buku. Egon said being possessed was one of Ghostbusting's most interesting occupational hazards. Well, you just wait, Spengler. Wait until one of your warrior ancestors possesses you. Those blond and blue-eyed Celts didn't even HAVE loincloths, they painted themselves blue and went running into battle NAKED!
How's THAT for interesting?
How's that for an image of Egon I didn't need? Janine would enjoy it, though.
I wonder what she thought of me?
From: Singe
Date: Mon Nov 20, 2000 3:23pm
Subject: Companion POV
J.R. Dyer asked for a Janine companion piece for my Winston POV. Ask
and ye shall receive!!
Title: Culture Shock
Author: Singe
POV: Janine
Archive: Yes
Note: This one's kinda long and I think I'm copping Robyn Thurman's
style. Sorry, Robyn.
We came down hard on poor Winston. Hey, it's not every day a dignified church-going man gets transformed into Shaka Zulu's Big Brother, Shima Buku. I think the Panther's "Umgowah! Black Powah!" chant was going a bit far but it sure was fun to do. You can blame Dr. V for starting that one. You can blame Ray for following that up with the "YMCA!" song and dance and you can even blame Egon for laughing so hard he couldn't say anything at all. A miracle.
So Winston turns to me, with his arms crossed and a vein in his forehead starting to pucker up, and he says "Well, what did YOU think?!"
I started to fan myself with a file-folder. "I woulda SOLD MY SOUL for a camera! Woo!"
"Oh, really?" Winston stood up a little straighter.
"Yeah. I could've had the pictures made into calendars for Grandmama Zeddemore's recipe club! They'd have LOVED it!"
Winston rolled his eyes and stomped away, shouting about the peasants showing No Respect For The King and the guys were right behind him, doing their best Elvis impressions.
I'd seen it, though, his disappointment.
I'm all for stoking my friend's egos from time to time. They love it. Egon, you're so smart! Ray, you're so sweet! Peter, you DIRT-BAG! You're the WORST! So on and so forth...but I'm gonna have to start leaving Winston out. He puts too much meaning into everything I say these days. He haunts my desk. He laughs at all my jokes. He's never
away from Ecto. That car is so fine-tuned, now, it could slip through dimensions. He's taken to working on it without a shirt. God, how did this happen? Why is he doing this? I love him, he's my dearest friend, and now I have to reject him? Treat him like dirt?
Ignore him?
Yeah, right, just try ignoring a six foot tall ex-marine medic with muscles out to HERE. Ignore the years we've been friends. Ignore his decency and his humor. Just try forgetting his honesty, buddy. His bravery. The warmest laugh you've ever heard...a King...
You just try it.
Just...try it!
I dare ya.
From: Singe <singe@g...>
Date: Tue Dec 5, 2000 10:55am
Subject: Finally! My Ray POV!
I've finally covered everybody so I can stop. I acknowledge my Ray is a little, uh, eloquent, but he IS a Doctor. I see him as a cute and
fun Joseph Campbell.
Title: May Nothing You Dismay
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Note: A little Christmas whine to start out the season. The Dr. Demento
song is sung to the tune of 'Walking in a Winter Wonderland.'
"External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often "came down" handsomely, and Scrooge never did."
But he's going to.
We are going to bring that squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner DOWN!!! How could he ruin Christmas? How could he be so mean? How could he overcome thousands of years of tradition and culture to start a cynical movement of self-denying ascetism that totally balks at any 'non-realist' notion of comfort, peace, trust and joy?
Well, it's not like he didn't have HELP! I can't believe we busted the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. We didn't KNOW! Oh, god, we've wrecked Christmas!! Not just Christmas but EVERY major Winter celebration: Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Saturnalia, the Solstice, everything! The Spirits were conveniently called the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future but what they are, REALLY, are the Guardians of hope and cheer at a time when the world is at it's coldest and darkest. And we LOCKED THEM UP!!! Doi. Duh.
Wow, the entire miserable populace of this city is wandering around like it has Seasonal Affectedness Disorder. There is no kindness, no joy, no bright, glowing lights, no feasting, no festivities, no songs! No Chipmunk's Christmas Album!! I'll never hear their high, chipmunk voices sing 'Rudolph' or 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth' or even 'Walking Around in Women's Underwear' again. Wait, that last one was from my Dr. Demento Christmas CD. It's gone, too!!
Oh, Scrooge has HAD it!
We're going to fix our stupid mistake and Scrooge "will honour Christmas in his heart, and try to keep it all the year. He will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within him. He will not shut out the lessons that they
teach." He won't screw it up for everyone else!
That's a promise from ME!
END
Rating: All Audiences
Genre: Character One-Shots
Note: These are where it all began, my first fanfics posted to what was then EGroup's RGB mailing list. I kept the dates and subjects out of sentimentality.
From: Singe
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 3:20pm
Subject: My answer to Sheila's challenge
They're all staring at me. Wanting an answer as to why a Class 7 entity would claim to 'remember' me.
I can't believe I'm going to say this. I can't believe I'm going to ADMIT to this. I may as well claim I believe in the Easter Bunny or declare myself the reincarnation of Ramses the Great.
Ludicrous. Undignified.
Vindicated. I know my friends will believe me. Finally, finally someone would believe me. They will know that my life's work, my knowledge and all my ambition has led to this moment, this being's destruction. Ironic, if it weren't for him there may never have been the Ghostbusters and the world would have died in a myriad of painful ways. Excuse me as I contain my gratitude.
He has served Fate's purpose and now we will stop him. Never again would that evil monster break a child. Time for True Confessions as Peter might say.
"When I was a child...the Bogeyman came out of my closet."
Date: Wed Nov 8, 2000 4:37pm
Subject: Another Answer
Title.....Inner Workings
GEEZ! I've been running this maze forever! Did the Sandman invent this place or am I dreaming it all up on my own? That jerk is making dreams a reality, PLEASE don't let the guys be lost in my maze, too.
The guys. I'm here for a reason. I have to save the guys. Where are they? EGON! PETER! WINSTON! RAYYYYY!! Where are they? What was I supposed to DO?! EGON!! EEEEGOOOONNNNN!!!
They're not here. I was...supposed to be something...someone... I'm a...I'm a...
Secretary. Just a secretary. I type, I file, I can just hear my dad saying what were those bozos THINKING when they sent a secretary, a WOMAN, out to do something important?
Like I ever listened to my Dad. I just wish I could remember what I was supposed to BE. I'm so tired, all these twists and turns are killing my head. I'm a...I'm a...uh, oh...now I can hear my Mom. She's telling me to ignore Dad, all I need is a good house, a good
husband with a good job and three or four good kids and I'll be happy. Like she was ever happy. Like I ever listened to her either.
I'm a...oh, geez, what am I? I always had the answers before, what's gonna happen to Egon and Peter and Ray...and...Winston...and...that's it.
That's IT!
The guys. MY guys! My guys are my answer! They sent me out here because I'm part of the TEAM! They're what I need. It's time to leave these tunnels and kick some gritty, sandy ass. Hey, Sandman, here's a hot little dream made real for ya! Where's the 'ON' switch on this proton pack? Here it is. Wow, listen to it hum. Powerrrr! This is going to be good...look at me, Egon, I look GREAT. Hey, Mr. Sandmannnn.....? Guess what?
"I'M A GHOSTBUSTAH!!!!"
Title: These Boots Are Made For Walkin'
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes, please!
Warning: This one is rated PG13 for language and Peter's unfortunate choice in song lyrics. Also, I've never seen this episode so I'm taking all sorts of liberties with the action.
"I saw a young cowboy, all dressed in white linen..." Doc Spengs is glaring at me again. I don't care. Nothing fazes Cactus Pete and his wild, neurotic band of Western Outlaws. Doc Spengs, Snake-Eyes Stantz and Wild Winnie - damned to hell desperadoes, every last one of us. They got ten thousand dollars in silver on my head alone.
"Ghost-riders innnnn the skyyyyy..." This sun is hot. It's melting the pine tar out of the new false fronts of the buildings. I can smell it, a clean green aroma overlaying the dust of the street and the scent of leather and horse shit. High Noon, baby. All the Dewey LaMorte Wild West potboilers in the world can't come close to this, the real thing. A real showdown. A real chance to get gunned down in the middle of the street. "Do not forsake me, oh, my darlinnnnn....."
It won't happen. The four of us together are too strong. Walking in unison down the middle of main street I'm surprised the ground doesn't tremble. We don' need no stinkin' badges.
Yeah, none of the lawmen, bounty hunters, Frito Banditos and Pinkerton Detectives in the world can touch us, neither can this new guy...this sheriff...
...Wyatt Earp.
"Comma Tai Ai Yippee Yippee Yay! Yippee Yay! Comma Tai Ai Yippee
Yippee Yay!!"
Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday are gunning for me. For ME! If I die today it'll be out of joy. Doc Spengs is hissing at me. Something about showing a little more decorum in the face of death. He's just not getting it. What tune would really tick my pardner off and leech some of the dread out of Snake-Eyes and Wild Winnie? Oh, I know...
"Gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg! Gonna tie my pecker to my
leg!!"
From: Singe
Date: Fri Nov 17, 2000 3:23pm
Subject: Yet Another Answer (POV)
Title: I Feel a Draft
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes
POV: Winston's
Note: I've never seen 'Moaning Stones' so I'm taking liberties again.
(I've only got Ray's POV left and then I'll be done!)
An animal skin loincloth. Feathers. A spear. God, please, give me strength. I looked like one of Edgar Rice Burrough's 'savages' that used to chase Tarzan around the jungle. I hated those movies. I still hate Tarzan. Great White God my Big Black Ass.
I can still sense Shima Buku. Egon said being possessed was one of Ghostbusting's most interesting occupational hazards. Well, you just wait, Spengler. Wait until one of your warrior ancestors possesses you. Those blond and blue-eyed Celts didn't even HAVE loincloths, they painted themselves blue and went running into battle NAKED!
How's THAT for interesting?
How's that for an image of Egon I didn't need? Janine would enjoy it, though.
I wonder what she thought of me?
From: Singe
Date: Mon Nov 20, 2000 3:23pm
Subject: Companion POV
J.R. Dyer asked for a Janine companion piece for my Winston POV. Ask
and ye shall receive!!
Title: Culture Shock
Author: Singe
POV: Janine
Archive: Yes
Note: This one's kinda long and I think I'm copping Robyn Thurman's
style. Sorry, Robyn.
We came down hard on poor Winston. Hey, it's not every day a dignified church-going man gets transformed into Shaka Zulu's Big Brother, Shima Buku. I think the Panther's "Umgowah! Black Powah!" chant was going a bit far but it sure was fun to do. You can blame Dr. V for starting that one. You can blame Ray for following that up with the "YMCA!" song and dance and you can even blame Egon for laughing so hard he couldn't say anything at all. A miracle.
So Winston turns to me, with his arms crossed and a vein in his forehead starting to pucker up, and he says "Well, what did YOU think?!"
I started to fan myself with a file-folder. "I woulda SOLD MY SOUL for a camera! Woo!"
"Oh, really?" Winston stood up a little straighter.
"Yeah. I could've had the pictures made into calendars for Grandmama Zeddemore's recipe club! They'd have LOVED it!"
Winston rolled his eyes and stomped away, shouting about the peasants showing No Respect For The King and the guys were right behind him, doing their best Elvis impressions.
I'd seen it, though, his disappointment.
I'm all for stoking my friend's egos from time to time. They love it. Egon, you're so smart! Ray, you're so sweet! Peter, you DIRT-BAG! You're the WORST! So on and so forth...but I'm gonna have to start leaving Winston out. He puts too much meaning into everything I say these days. He haunts my desk. He laughs at all my jokes. He's never
away from Ecto. That car is so fine-tuned, now, it could slip through dimensions. He's taken to working on it without a shirt. God, how did this happen? Why is he doing this? I love him, he's my dearest friend, and now I have to reject him? Treat him like dirt?
Ignore him?
Yeah, right, just try ignoring a six foot tall ex-marine medic with muscles out to HERE. Ignore the years we've been friends. Ignore his decency and his humor. Just try forgetting his honesty, buddy. His bravery. The warmest laugh you've ever heard...a King...
You just try it.
Just...try it!
I dare ya.
From: Singe <singe@g...>
Date: Tue Dec 5, 2000 10:55am
Subject: Finally! My Ray POV!
I've finally covered everybody so I can stop. I acknowledge my Ray is a little, uh, eloquent, but he IS a Doctor. I see him as a cute and
fun Joseph Campbell.
Title: May Nothing You Dismay
Author: Singe
Archive: Yes
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Note: A little Christmas whine to start out the season. The Dr. Demento
song is sung to the tune of 'Walking in a Winter Wonderland.'
"External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often "came down" handsomely, and Scrooge never did."
But he's going to.
We are going to bring that squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner DOWN!!! How could he ruin Christmas? How could he be so mean? How could he overcome thousands of years of tradition and culture to start a cynical movement of self-denying ascetism that totally balks at any 'non-realist' notion of comfort, peace, trust and joy?
Well, it's not like he didn't have HELP! I can't believe we busted the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. We didn't KNOW! Oh, god, we've wrecked Christmas!! Not just Christmas but EVERY major Winter celebration: Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Saturnalia, the Solstice, everything! The Spirits were conveniently called the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future but what they are, REALLY, are the Guardians of hope and cheer at a time when the world is at it's coldest and darkest. And we LOCKED THEM UP!!! Doi. Duh.
Wow, the entire miserable populace of this city is wandering around like it has Seasonal Affectedness Disorder. There is no kindness, no joy, no bright, glowing lights, no feasting, no festivities, no songs! No Chipmunk's Christmas Album!! I'll never hear their high, chipmunk voices sing 'Rudolph' or 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth' or even 'Walking Around in Women's Underwear' again. Wait, that last one was from my Dr. Demento Christmas CD. It's gone, too!!
Oh, Scrooge has HAD it!
We're going to fix our stupid mistake and Scrooge "will honour Christmas in his heart, and try to keep it all the year. He will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within him. He will not shut out the lessons that they
teach." He won't screw it up for everyone else!
That's a promise from ME!
END
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